So You Want to Dance with God

Dance with God and He will let the right man cut in.

We see and hear this phrase everywhere. It’s on Pinterest, our mothers remind us of it, we whisper it to ourselves when we feel lonely, and I’ve even read it in devotional books.

But you know what? I don’t like it anymore. It actually makes me cringe.

At first it seems like a beautiful image! You imagine a girl dressed in a pretty dress twirling around a ballroom in Jesus’ arms. After a while a handsome young man appears on the scene and makes his way over to the young woman. She is so focussed on God that she doesn’t notice him until he is right next to her and God has slowed their dance down. God releases the young woman’s hands, maybe even bows slightly to the boy, and then steps back, letting the would-be-husband “cut in.”

Does anyone else see the problem here?

God is never supposed to become our second priority or second love. He doesn’t want to step aside or out of the center of our lives and hearts when we find a boyfriend or husband. He wants to be our all in all. In fact, in Luke, Jesus makes a statement that says that our love for family and friends should look like hate compared to our love for our God.

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple,” Luke 14:26 (NIV).

Another trap or lie we can fall into is treating God like a vending machine. God is not a vending machine for love. As young Christian women sometimes it feels like people tell us that if we love God enough He will give us husbands––the husbands we deserve. So we pray, read our Bibles, attend church, join small groups, do quiet time, and more, all in the hopes that we are doing enough to please God and convince Him that we love Him enough for Him to grant us what we really want: a human man to love.

This is an incredibly destructive view of God and self. You cannot earn a husband by loving God enough as if you are feeding dollar bills into a vending machine until you’ve paid enough for the machine to spit out a bottle of Gatorade. You’re singleness is not a punishment and does not in any way suggest that you do not love God earnestly enough. Why did we ever start telling each other that? Ideas like that are only good for destroying our self-esteem and our very relationship with God.

Instead of treating God like a vending machine and loving Him for the things He can give us, we should love Him because of who He is, what He has done for us, and His deep love for us. God never promises us husbands (or wives for any men out there reading this). He does not even owe us husbands! That was never part of the contract.

He does promise to be enough. He promises to love us unconditionally and better and fuller than any human being could ever even dream of. He must be and remain our first love. Always.

So dance with God. Don’t let a man cut in! Dance with God and maybe someday you and God will see a man approaching on the dance floor and decide to let him join in the beautiful, messy dance that is life.